Question: A friend of mine recently lost his mother and I was out of town during the week of his shivah mourning period. I will almost certainly run into him in the near future and am confused as to how I should relate to him. What is the right thing to do?

Answer: Although you were unaware of the passing of your friend's mother and probably did not even have the opportunity to relay your condolences by phone, you still have a chance to somewhat fulfill the mitzvah of nichum aveilim.

In Shulchan Aruch Orech Chaim (285:2) we find that if one meets a mourner for any relative during the first thirty days after death he should express his condolences. When the mourning is for a parent, as in the case you mentioned, such condolencescan be offered up until 12 months following death.

Even if the above-mentioned time periods have passed one may still make an indirect expression of sympathy without directly mentioning the deceased relative.

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