Taamei Hamitzvos - Accepting the Edomite
by Rabbi Shmuel Kraines
“Study improves the quality of the act and completes it, and a mitzvah is more beautiful when it emerges from someone who understands its significance.” (Meiri, Bava Kama 17a)
Mitzvah #563; Devarim 23:8
The Torah relates in Parashas Chukas that when our ancestors travelled through the Wilderness and approached the border of Edom, Moshe sent a messenger to ask for permission to cross through. Moshe reminded the Edomites that they are relatives, for their ancestors Yaakov and Eisav were brothers. He also recalled that the Jewish people had undergone many years of slavery and deserved pity. He added that the Jewish people would not cause any harm in crossing and they would pay for food and drink. Moshe added a word of caution: Even if you have many weapons, we can call out just once to Hashem and He will make your armies drop to the ground.
Edom replied, “You rely on Yaakov’s blessing, ‘the voice is the voice of Yaakov,’ while we rely on Eisav’s blessing, ‘the hands are the hands of Eisav.’” You have the power of prayer, but we have the power of the sword. Edom refused to allow their travel-weary Jewish brothers entry and instead came out to attack. The Jewish people had to turn away because Edom had not yet accumulated enough guilt to make it possible for the Jewish people to conquer them. In the future, though, our power of prayer will overpower Edom’s power of the sword, and we will establish Hashem’s kingship in the world (Midrash HaGadol).
One would think that we should trade our feelings of brotherhood with feelings of hatred. However, the Torah enlightens our moral senses by commanding us not to detest the Edomite. An Edomite may join the Jewish people as a convert should he desire, and the third generation may marry any Jew. This is because the third generation has lost any significant connection with Edom, as a person’s relationship with his descendants extends primarily until his grandchildren (Chizkuni).
We are obligated not to forget that they are our brothers even though they did not treat us this way. Even descendants of the Edomite Haman, who sought to obliterate us, were accepted as converts. Rav Shmuel bar Shilas, one of the great disciples of Rav, was descended from Haman (Sanhedrin 96b, Ein Yaakov ed.).
Rambam writes in Moreh Nevuchim (3:42) that we see from here how important it is to strengthen relationships with relatives and draw them close. Even if a relative has caused harm and monetary loss, and even if he is a despicable person, one is obligated to recognize the relationship and treat him favorably. Radvaz in Metzudas David writes similarly that even when a person has to distance relatives who do not conduct themselves in the proper way, “the left hand should distance, but the right hand should draw near.” The Gemara (Sanhedrin 76b) expounds that about a person who draws his relatives near, it is written, "They you shall call, and Hashem will answer" (Yeshayah 58:9). When we recognize our relatives, it is a merit for Hashem to treat as His relatives and to grant special attention to our prayers.
