Nedarim 16-22
Peace in the Home and for the Children
Rabbi Levi said, “These are the children of a mother who is hated by her husband.”
Rabbi Levi in our gemara lists nine scenarios in which the offspring will be “rebellious and transgressing against Hashem,” as found in Yechezkel 20:38. One of these scenarios leading to rebellious children is when the mother is hated by the father.
Although it would appear from two verses in Chumash (Gen. 29:31 and 33) that Leah was hated by her husband Yaakov, this was certainly not the case — and their children were certainly righteous and devoted to Hashem. Leah was neither hated by Yaakov nor blamed for her father’s treacherous dealings with Yaakov. Rather, she was greatly loved by her husband Yaakov as is evident in 29:30, which states, “And he (Yaakov) also loved Rachel.” He loved Rachel in addition to Leah. The other verses that seem to imply that she was “hated” merely indicate that Yaakov had an even greater love for Rachel.
- Nedarim 20b
The Neder Sacrifice
Rabbi Natan said, “Making a neder (vow) is like building a forbidden altar, and fulfilling the neder is like offering a sacrifice there.”
This teaching appears in a beraita on our daf and is cited by the Rambam, the Tur and the Shulchan Aruch. The severe negative equivalencies taught here by Rabbi Natan is that making a neder separates a person from the community. When a person makes a personal altar, he is separating himself from the ways of the unified Jewish People. Likewise, one who makes a neder to forbid to himself that which is permitted to the rest of the community is separating himself from the community. Fulfilling his neder makes matters worse. Just as sacrificing on his personal altar is the act of completing his separation from the community, likewise fulfilling his neder demonstrates his complete separation from the community. (Maharal)
- Nedarim 22a
